First Post!!!

I've decided to start a blog!!! Big surprise, Right? Since if you’re reading this you know I've made a blog.

I've decided to write a blog after toying with the idea for some time. My main limitation was the thought "who would read my blog?". I had online journals in middle and high school, and I didn't really see the difference for many people's blogs. I figured if I want to write I can just type up a word doc or pick up one of those ancient writing utensils (you know pens pencils, those things) and write. There's no need to post anything. No need to put everything out there where others can read it. As several past teachers have pointed out (all believing they were the first to come to this conclusion) I have issues with sharing my writing, any writing. I fear judgment, misinterpretation (anyone remember that famous quote? something along the lines of "its not what you mean or what you say but how others interpret it"), and the general vulnerability of putting part of yourself out for others to see. I share and then feel nervous about the aftermath, the consequences. I even have issues with facebook status posts. Well, I've decided to give it a try anyway. After all, what does it matter what others think (or so I keep telling myself). Many people I know have blogs and use them for the comfort of a relative stranger’s comment, the natural relaxation it provides, a sense of community, a place to let free their rants. Well, I could use comfort, relaxation, community, a place to rant.

I don't have a main topic or focus. I'm just going to write about what I think and what’s going on in my life. I figure I'll let the blog progress of its own will, and I'll probably pick things up from other blogs I read.

Also, since I'm not exactly spreading the word about my blog, I don’t expect many followers. Which makes me wonder who these comments are for….. an imaginary friend maybe?

Oh, and my grammar skills, not so stellar. So please excuse.

Basic Facts- 22 years old, female, single, college graduate, aunt, daughter, sister, dog owner, cousin, Scorpio, hmmm what other box can I put myself in…

Now the first post really starts.

I just graduated from College! (Hurray) Which basically boils down to moving back in with my mom, losing my health insurance (which was under my dad), and looking for a job. I graduated with a degree in Psychology (minor in Italian) in three and a half years magna cum laude and part of the honors program. Sounds great right? Well, in the job market (or more so the what jobs I am qualified for market) this means very little.

My main goal has always been going to graduate school. Earlier this year, when attempting to fill out applications, I realized that I have no clue what I want to do with my life, which makes personal statements pretty hard. (I could fake it, but should I?) I have always had little fantasies, hopes, but realistic goals I’ve lacked. Truthfully, I don’t know what is realistic. I’m interested in forensic psychology and criminology. So, do I apply to psych law programs (which are very scarce)? Or do I apply to criminology programs (not so scarce but finding the right one might be an issue)? Then there is the daunting task of getting accepted, and if accepted by more than one choosing which one to attend. And if not accepted by any, keeping a sense of dignity and self worth.

Since I didn’t/ don’t know what I really want to do in life I decided I could take a year off. I’ve been out of school for 12 days and I miss it. Not the “college life” which, don’t get me wrong, was fun. But I miss class. I miss my readings and being surrounded my people who know so much. I miss the order and function and chaos. I miss learning new concepts, ideas, and theories. I miss the classes I took simply because I had to, which inevitably peaked my interest in things I never would have found interest in otherwise. I simply like to learn. And yes, I know I’m a geek. I love the useless and useful knowledge I’ve acquired.

By now many of the deadlines have occurred. And, of course, now I feel the need to apply to at least a few this go around. The remaining deadlines seems to be around March and April (some in Jan and Feb but I couldn’t make those). I know my older sister will help critique my statement and help with anything I ask, but I still feel overwhelmed (or maybe more nervous).

Well, I should stop now since my decision to actually start this blog hit around midnight, time is ticking away, and I have an early morning.
Happy Christmas Eve, or if you don’t do Christmas, Happy December 24th!